A Positive Moment with Asperger's Syndrome, from our Non-Asperger's Syndrome daughter

February 12, 2007

I just watched "Autism Every Day" at AutismSpeaks.org and while the entire video touches my heart, the part that made me cry the most was the mom who said it was only because of her other daughter (her NT daughter if you will) that she hasn't driven off a bridge with her autistic child and I have to honestly say that our daughter is the only reason I haven't driven off a bridge with our son.

I love them both so much but I struggle to see any kind of a positive future for our son, or us for that matter, but our daughter (who has tendencies of PDD-NOS but only minor now) has the world at her fingertips if only we can hang on financially to help pay for college.

She's smart, funny, beautiful, compassionate and just such a sweetheart and I couldn't ever remove myself from her life, she just means too much to me and I couldn't do that to her.

But that's not to say I haven't considered more than once when we were in California driving to the Golden Gate Bridge and even here on Whidbey Island, we've only been here two months and already I've been so low that I've considered driving or jumping off of Deception Pass Bridge with our son, to save both of them.

Save our daughter from a life of heartache over missed opportunities due to our son's difficulties and save our son from his own heartache over his own missed opportunities.

Asperger's Syndrome and Autism and PDD-NOS are such cruel, cruel "afflictions" so much of the time. He's sharp enough to realize that he's missing out on friendships and so much in life yet he can't figure out how to not miss out. We can see him hurting so much but we can't fix it. Our daughter has an emotional moment and I'm so embroiled in emails, phone calls, etc. for our son that I can't comfort her when she needs it. Or I end up crying in her arms when I'm supposed to be comforting her and letting her cry in my arms.

It is SO HARD to be positive about things, I am amazed at the parents that I see that manage to find positive in every day. Sometimes my ONLY positive is that I get to climb into bed come night. But then I remember that there are days that I'm positive and there are no doubt days when these parents that I see as being so positive are as down as I get.

I'd never heard any other parent talk about their other child being the only reason they haven't driven off of a bridge and to hear that mom say it just really had an effect on me because I've said and felt it so often myself.

And then our daughter comes along and decides that she's going to center her next required art project around Autism and I think oh my gosh she's wonderful and there's my positive moment for the day. Once again the positive moment comes from her.

What would I do without her? Would I even still be here on this earth if it wasn't for her?

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Wonderful Autism Apps / Applications ... and ... some of my favorite books and other goodies

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Books that I'm currently reading

I'm so tickled that authors have been contacting me and asking me to review their new books for them!

For as much time as I spend researching Asperger's Syndrome this website should have thousands of pages but because my son has Asperger's Syndrome I find that the things I want to work on very often are not the things that I have to work on so I'm still not able to spend as much time on it as I'd like to.

As he heads into adulthood (he turned 18 on Dec 13 and yes I need to update some things at my website such as my home page that says he's 17) I'm finding that I have even less time on my hands as I spend more time trying to master the puzzle of how to help him transition into "life after high school".

That's where Autism Tomorrow: The Complete Guide To Help Your Child Thrive In The Real World comes in. It's a guide to help your kids after high school. You'll find parts of the book will be applicable and some won't depending on your child's current age. Although the title implies "Autism after high school" there is still quite a bit in there about what to do before your child hits "real life". But overall a helpful book.

Please contact me if you'd like to send a copy of your book to me for review. I would absolutely love it!

Fiction, Non-fiction, Auto-Biographies, Instructional books, etc. I'm interested in them all. :) And if you autograph it that would be SUPER cool! ;)