Listed below the article are several ideas for coping with behaviors of a child with Asperger's Syndrome. You'll find instantly downloadable books to help you right now; books that you can order from Amazon; information on a community for parents of kids with Asperger's; and then some information on natural remedies to use instead of the terrible psychotic medications that doctors are so quick to prescribe for our kids.
By Dave Angel
Every parent loves their child, as they should. But, you need to be as objective about his or her behavior as you can.
In order to best support your child through the day to day problems that may arise it is important to try to have this impartial focus on their behaviors.
What may seem odd to you, may be extremely annoying or even reason for retaliation to someone else (although this retaliation is not justified).
So you need to do what you can to help your child to cope better in society, and vice versa for those in society to cope better with your child.
Similarly you need to equip them as best you can for their classroom, and their neighborhood.
This is not about making your child a robot or taking away their identity, but basic survival at times.
I truly believe that each child is individual and that not two children with Aspergers are ever identical. However there are certain approaches and techniques that have been seen to be helpful both in research and in everyday living for children with Aspergers.
Assessing your child's behavior, in different situations, will prepare you to deal with difficult times, and help your child to do the same.
For example your child may have difficulty communicating with you or with others. They may have difficulty following societal rules.
Another example is that your child may have difficulty adjusting to changes that occur with the daily routine. Your child may also have difficulty adjusting to environmental changes, whether they include the rearranging of furniture or new people.
You will need to assess each of these situations and any others that you encounter and develop a plan that enables your child to adjust.
One way of doing this may include role-play of social situations. This may include a well-developed plan that provides your child with a way out, or a way to deal with situations that are overwhelming.
An example for this may be that your child may get overwhelmed by too many people or too much noise in a certain situations. So the obvious answer for them is to temporarily get out of the situation.
Their approach to do this may include just running or pushing their way physically out of the situation. So role play could help them to practice saying a set few words to the teacher like "I need time out" or if interaction may be too hard for them at this point – they could hold up a card with the words on them. Obviously it is essential too to get the teacher on board and agreement with the approach for it to work.
The bottom line is that your child will really struggle to meet the demands of change, or the demands of society. So you will need to help them by providing a buffer zone.
That may include changing your routine, providing an outlet for them, or teaching others how to communicate better with your child.
Meet with your child's teacher and discuss behavior and try to establish a method that will work well at home and in the school (as outlined above). The more consistently you can deal with your child the more of an impact it will have on them, and their ability to be productive in school.
To briefly summarize this article it is essential for the parent of a child with Aspergers to help them by offering practical help in dealing with social situations. This first involves the parent assessing their child in a variety of different social situations and then using techniques (like Role Play and involving significant others such as teachers) to help them to learn and understand better ways to get through these situations.
If you liked this article, then click on the Parenting Aspergers Community image below. The creator of the Parenting Asperger's Community is Dave Angel, the same guy who wrote the above article. :o)
Get instant help for coping with behaviors...
A personal note from me, Diane:
As you know by reading some of the pages here at my website, my son has Asperger's Syndrome. I know firsthand how difficult it can be to, day in and day out, cope with his "behaviors", oftentimes new, out-of-left-field behaviors.
I also know how defeating it can be, how hard it can be, how helpless, hopeless, and lost it can make you feel because I've been there many times, and still find myself there, when a new behavior presents itself (which seems to happen daily if not several times a day).
Coping with behaviors of a child with Asperger's Syndrome is debilitating and I often find myself in tears.
I know that often when I am looking for help online, I need help NOW. I don't have time to wait for a book to arrive in the mail, I need help to get through whatever it is that's happening right now.
Because of that I decided to find some instantly downloadable help, books that I could immediately download to my computer now (they also work on iPads and iPods and smart phones) ... books written by others (many of the authors are moms but I'm also looking for some by dads) who have children with Asperger's Syndrome and who have been through whatever situation it is that I'm dealing with at that particular moment, and who experienced success in how they worked through it.
Below are some downloadable books that can help you now, this instant, without having to wait for snail mail (or even 2-day Amazon shipping). Sometimes it seems that my sanity won't last another 2 days without immediate help.
Many of these books have guarantees making it very worth it to look into them...
My heart is with you.
You want a self-assured, confident son or daughter. Let Phyllis Wheeler, mother of two children with Asperger's Syndrome, tell you how that might be possible. Learn Successful Parenting Strategies For Kids With Asperger's Syndrome, Including A Point System And Chore Charts. Full Of Key Ideas.
This mom has developed four instantly downloadable books that help your child to keep his/her power and integrity intact. She empowers parents and helps them to enjoy their amazing children.
She has over thirteen years experience and she holds an academic qualification of 'Post Grad Cert in Advanced Disabilities Studies', and she's working on her Masters Degree in Human Services.
** This downloadable book is written by Dave Angel,
author of the above article **
I really don't have a way to introduce this downloadable book other than to tell you that I have been in contact with Dave for several years now and the man knows what he's talking about. And he's fun. He does videos while wearing costumes, I have laughed out loud and am actually grinning as I write this. At the very least, click through and read his page. I think you'll like what you find there. :o)
I don't have this book but I have read good things about it. I'd love to hear your opinion on it if you have it or purchase it.
I wasn't aware of this book when I needed it most. Cameron was bullied so terribly, so terribly, it was literally an every day thing, sometimes more than once a day. And when one bully got away with it then another bully would go after him. Our kids are such easy targets. Some schools are getting on board and starting anti-bullying programs and many states as well but unfortunately it still isn't being taken seriously enough, even by those schools and states that have instituted programs. Even many school administrators and teachers are bullies. I've run into school administrative bullies in FOUR schools (his elementary school, the two middle schools he was in, and now his high school [although after much clawing and teeth gnashing, I did get the office bully at his high school to come around and see things my way]).
I have 1-2-3 Magic and I'll never be able to stress enough how much this book helped, how much it still helps. The strategies in here, combined with our own "tweaking" for our situations, have made this book the #1 book that I go to when I need help.
It says "Effective Discipline for Children Ages 2-12" ... Don't let that deter you. Reason: Most kids with Asperger's Syndrome are not the same age emotionally as they are chronologically. Although my son is 17 now, he's still young enough emotionally that the strategies in this book still work for him, I still find myself looking through it for help.
This was one of the first books I bought. It introduced me to my son's world. I'd been floundering through for so many years and when he was finally diagnosed at 12 years of age, this book really helped me to understand a lot of what was going on with him.
I don't have this book yet but it's written by Tony Attwood who wrote the book shown above this one, the book that was one of my first after my son was diagnosed. And it seems to be a popular book from what I've heard and have been told.
Below are a whole bunch of the best Asperger's books that can be found for coping with the behaviors of a child with Asperger's Syndrome. You can put on order the ones that you find interesting and while waiting for them, you can read the instant download books above.
Here is An Outstanding Parenting Aspergers Community that you might want to consider joining. Current members love the site and the creator (Dave Angel, the guy who wrote the article on this page), gets endless positive emails from them.
Oftentimes the doctors are quick to prescribe medications for our kids' behaviors. Have you had doctors recommend that you put your child on this or that drug?
After much arguing with the doctors on my part, we ended up following their suggestions and did put our son on medication, several medications.
While some of the meds did help, it turns out that others were contributing to the problem. Trazadone caused him to "hear voices telling him to do terrible things"!
One thing I learned for sure, medication in and of itself is not the be all to end all. There is still plenty of work to be done to help with behaviors, work that does not involve medication. To be sure, sometimes medication can help in the sense of it can calm a child so that he/she is able to work with behavior modification but the side effects are so dangerous and unhealthy.
I look back now and I wish I had known about natural remedies before I agreed to put him on those dangerous medications.
If you're interested and want to look into it before considering putting your child on psychotic drugs, click here to learn about natural remedies for the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome.
I can't stress enough how important it is to consider the natural remedy options over the manmade drugs. Our son was put on Lithium and it ended up messing up his thyroid. So then not only was he on these frightening psychotic medications, then he had to start taking thyroid medication as well.
Through much work on his and our part, he is actually now 100% medication free! But I can honestly tell you, if the need should arise, I will definitely go the route of natural before I do man-made drugs again.
Back to the top of this page: Coping With Behaviors Of A Child With Asperger's Syndrome
Back to home page: LifeWithASD.com (Aspergers and PDD-NOS)