Practical tips for parents to help siblings cope with the behaviors of a child with Aspergers

By Dave Angel

Siblings of children with Asperger's Syndrome are suffering

Having a child with any type of developmental disability can be very stressful for the parents and the siblings of that child. This may be seen to be even more so at times for children with (physically) hidden syndromes like Asperger's Syndrome.

Children with physical disabilities have a more visible and obvious disability. Whereas children on the autistic spectrum tend to look exactly like other children but can behave very differently.

For siblings this behavior can be difficult to understand even when they are aware of their sibling's ASD. Many siblings can think of their ASD sibling as simply naughty or rude – particularly if they are quite young and unable to fully understand the issues involved.

Siblings may often feel embarrassed around peers, frustrated by not having the type of relationship with their sibling that they wanted or expected, and/or angry that the child with Asperger's Syndrome requires so much of the parents' time. This can often mean the child not wanting to ask friends over to play, as they fear their sibling may embarrass them.

It is hard enough for parents of the child with Asperger's to understand why their child has this syndrome, much less why they behave the way they do.

Teach siblings about Asperger's Syndrome to the extent that they are able to understand. Let them know that it is okay to be frustrated with their sibling who is affected, but it won't help their relationship.

Let siblings know what that child needs, again to the extent that they can understand and provide as normal of an environment as possible. Try to make this as concrete as possible with real life examples of what you mean that they can follow and relate to.

Obviously some family dynamics can make this tricky - but try to make some special parent-child time with the non-Asperger's sibling at least weekly.

In order to do this you may need to look to your family, friends or local social services to offer the child with Asperger's somewhere to go for some respite. Whilst you can then do some activity with their sibling.

This may mean staying in and watching a video or just chilling out in peace. Or it could involve a set activity like swimming, the cinema, walking, shopping etc. Whatever it is try to make it child-focussed so that your child gets to determine what you do (within reason!)

It is often tempting to coddle the child with developmental disabilities, like Asperger's Syndrome, and expect the other children to do so as well. But, the child with Asperger's Syndrome will benefit and learn social skills from their siblings as well, and they should be entitled to a reasonable amount of sibling rivalry as well as any other child.

You don't want to deny the child with Asperger's the typical childhood, which includes fighting over toys and television shows. These formative sibling relationships and experiences have a major effect on children as they grow up (regardless of Asperger's).

So to summarize, siblings need to know enough about their brother or sister's issues to give them an understanding at their level. They also need to know that it is OK to feel some negative emotions at times toward their sibling, and where ever possible they need a little "special" time with you on their own.

Great Instantly Downloadable Guides to Asperger's Syndrome and How to Cope

If You're Feeling Worried or Confused About Asperger's Syndrome Then This May Be The Most Critically Important Website You'll Ever Read...

I am here to empower parents and assist them in starting to enjoy their amazing children. Our children are individuals before they are their label.

I have over thirteen years experience with ASD / Aspergers / Autism, both as a mother and as a consultant to parents, as well as holding the academic qualifications as 'Post Grad Cert in Advanced Disabilities Studies'. I am currently working on my Masters Degree In Human Services.

A Complete Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed With Aspergers Syndrome

Dave Angel is a social worker with families who have children on the Autistic Spectrum and is the author of a new e-book that answers the 46 most asked questions by parents of children with Asperger’s.

To claim your free 7 day Mini-Course for parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome...

Please visit ParentingAspergers.com today.

Parenting a child with Asperger's syndrome?

Learn successful strategies from one who has gone before you.

You want a self-assured, confident son or daughter. Let Phyllis Wheeler, mother of two children with Asperger's Syndrome, tell you how that might be possible.

Learn Successful Parenting Strategies For Kids With Asperger's Syndrome, Including A Point System And Chore Charts. Full Of Key Ideas.

An Outstanding Community for those who are parenting kids with Asperger's Syndrome

Here is An Outstanding Parenting Aspergers Community that you might want to consider joining.

Current members love the site and the creator gets endless positive emails from them.

I've had quite a few parents of kids with Asperger's Syndrome email me to tell me about NativeRemedies.com, a website that has natural remedies for all kinds of things, INCLUDING Asperger's Syndrome issues, and they work!

Click here --> Get More Information on Natural Remedies for Asperger's Syndrome.

I'd love to hear what you have to say about the natural products you use. Please use the "Contact Us" button in the left hand navigation column and tell us what's worked and what hasn't... :)

Here is an outstanding parenting Aspergers community that you might want to consider joining. Current members love the site and the creator gets endless positive emails from them.

Click here for your free report "Secrets to Parenting your Child with Asperger's Syndrome"

Now you have a chance to provide your other children with that special time that they so desperately need with you.

I wish, more than some might ever know, that this had been available when our daughter was younger (she's 18 now) because she went through so much with our son and she, and we, missed out on so much together because of his special needs.

This is time that I can NEVER get back and it breaks my heart.

Don't let this happen to you and your children, the siblings of your child(ren) with special needs.

There's a program that provides respite care, they care for your child(ren) with special needs which gives you the perfect opportunity to spend time with your other child(ren).

Go ahead and check it out. It doesn't hurt to look and you may find that you gain something you didn't realize you were missing with your non-special-needs child(ren).

Remember, it's special time lost that you can never regain. Don't let that happen. I did.

My daughter will never know those special times we missed, and I will always regret missing the lost time with her and making her miss those special times in her early years that every child deserves.

Even now, she's 19 years old, and I still see the hurt in her eyes when I have to put my son first. Some might say, oh she's 19 she should know better, but she's been on the back burner all her life. You can see in her eyes that the hurt is there and it runs deep.